Saturday, August 06, 2005

A contrast to appeal to windowshoppers like me


double click pic then hit expand to normal size on picture

Story Of Beer and The Wheel

History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast to live on fish and lobster in the summer.The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.'
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists, are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally, anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Friday, August 05, 2005

MOTLEY CRUE!!!!


When we started this band
All we needed, needed was a laugh
Years gone by...I'd say we've kicked some ass
When I'm enraged or hittin' the stage
Adrenaline rushing through my veins
And I'd say we're still kickin' ass!


I totally forgot. Jenny and I are going to see the Crue tomorrow night at Red Rocks! Yes, they are still alive! Hopefully we will be too after they rock our asses off tomorrow! I'm very curious to see if anyone under 30 will be there! I'll post a full report as soon as I'm recovered.

Well, I'm out the door folks. My man Troy is having his bachelor party tonight and it starts in a hour! Don't do it, Troy! Don't do it! Just kidding.

Everyone have a safe and fun weekend!

Dr. Feelgood signing off........

795 hits in a week!

I'm not quite sure who the hell is reading this thing, but the counter that I just added to the site a week ago shows 795 hits already! That is incredible! I just want to say that I am so pleased and surprised by everyone's involvement so far, and I wanted to thank you all for getting this blog started off on the right foot. Now, let's keep it going and give everyone something good to read! Later.

Great Onion Article

WHITE HOUSE DENIES EXISTENCE OF KARL ROVE

WASHINGTON, DC—The White House denied rumors of wrongdoing by anyone named Karl Rove Monday, saying the alleged deputy chief of staff does not exist.

"To my knowledge, no one by the name of Karl Rove works for this president, his staff, or for that matter, anyone on earth, since he is not a real person," White House press secretary Scott McClellan told reporters Monday.

Despite White House denials, allegations have surfaced in recent weeks that Karl Rove is the man who leaked covert CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity to the press. He is rumored to be President Bush's senior advisor, chief political strategist, architect of the president's 2000 and 2004 election victories, and the current deputy White House chief of staff, as well as a frequent guest on televised political talk shows.

"None of these allegations are supported by the facts," McClellan said. "The opponents of this administration have created a mythical figure in order to discredit the president. All they have done is divert attention from the important work at hand—the war in Iraq and the war on terror. In doing so, they have dishonored the sacrifices of our brave men and women in uniform."

"This time," he added, "the Democrats have gone too far."

According to fringe journalist Lou Dubose, author of Boy Genius: Karl Rove, The Brains Behind The Remarkable Political Triumph Of George W. Bush, Rove was born Dec. 25, 1950 in Denver, CO. Dubose alleges that Rove lived in Colorado with his family until 1963, when he moved to Salt Lake City, UT. According to Dubose, the shadowy figure entered politics in college, quickly moving through the ranks to become the chairman of the College Republican National Committee at age 22.

The White House has called such reports "nonsense."

McClellan reiterated his denial of Karl Rove's existence 33 times during the press conference. When pressed, he distributed a list of "real, actual political figures about whom I'd be happy to comment." The list included only President George W. Bush and Secretary of Transportation Norman Y. Mineta.

Rumors of the figure's existence were given a boost early this month when, as part of the official investigation into the CIA leak, a Time magazine reporter named Rove as the source of the leak.
"This is a very clever fiction concocted by those on the other side of the aisle," Vice President Dick Cheney said. "It's preposterous at its core."
The phantom advisor has come under heavy fire in recent weeks from critics of the administration, who say he should be fired for his role in the scandal. President Bush has pledged that anyone in his administration found to be involved in the CIA leak will be dismissed.
"There is no such organization as the CIA," McClellan said. "This is tinfoil-hat stuff."
Initially demanding that the alleged Rove be fired, Democrats say they are now focusing their efforts on proving the figure's existence.

"I believe this deputy White House chief of staff is real, despite White House claims to the contrary," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "But to disprove this wild ghost story, we must begin an exhaustive fact-finding mission, for which I pledge all the time and resources of the entire Democratic party."

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Happy Birthday USCG


Big party in Portland today, Hutch. The Coasties and I were waiting for ya to walk into Gritty Mcduff's all day. Where were ya?





The United States Coast Guard, one of the country's five armed services, is also one of the most unique agencies of the federal government. We trace our history back to 4 August 1790, when the first Congress authorized the construction of ten vessels to enforce tariff and trade laws, prevent smuggling, and protect the collection of the federal revenue. Known variously as the Revenue Marine and the Revenue Cutter Service, we expanded in size and responsibilities as the nation grew.
These added responsibilities included humanitarian duties such as aiding mariners in distress. Our law enforcement functions also continued to expand. Congress tasked us with enforcing laws against slavery, piracy, and enlarged our responsibilities to prevent smuggling. We were also given the responsibility to protect the marine environment, explore and police Alaska, and chart the growing nation's coastlines, all well before the turn of the twentieth century.
The service received its present name in 1915 under an act of Congress when the Revenue Cutter Service merged with the Life-Saving Service. The nation now had a single maritime service dedicated to saving life at sea and enforcing the nation's maritime laws. We began to maintain the country's aids to maritime navigation, including operating the nation's lighthouses, when the Lighthouse Service was transferred to the Coast Guard in 1939. Later, in 1946, Congress permanently transferred the Bureau of Marine Inspection and Navigation to the Coast Guard, thereby placing merchant marine licensing and merchant vessel safety under our purview.
The Coast Guard is one of the oldest organizations of the federal government and, until the Navy Department was established in 1798, we served as the nation's only armed force afloat. We have continued to protect the nation throughout our long history and have served proudly in every one of the nation's conflicts. Our national defense responsibilities remain one of our most important functions even today.
In times of peace we operate as part of the Department of Homeland Security, serving as the nation's front-line agency for enforcing our laws at sea, protecting our coastline and ports, and saving life. In times of war, or on direction of the President, we serve under the Navy Department.

take action


Write the Senate Judiciary Committee. Tell them Judge Roberts deserves a fair hearing and up-or-down vote.

The Theocrats Are Going to Freak!

President Bush's nominee for the Supreme Court reportedly was instrumental in winning a landmark 1996 gay civil rights case before the high court.

The Los Angeles Times reports that John G. Roberts Jr. worked behind the scenes for a coalition of gay-rights groups, helping them prepare their arguments to present to the court.
The case was Romer vs. Evans, which sought to have struck down a voter-approved 1992 Colorado initiative allowing employers and landlords to exclude gays from jobs and housing.
The coalition won the case in a 6-3 decision.

At the time gay rights leaders activists described it as the movement's most important legal victory.

Yikes!!

Blogger Helps Philadelphia Police...

On July 18th Latoyia Figueroa, a pregnant 24 year old Philadelphia woman, became a missing person! This came to the attention of a local Internet blogger, Richard Blair, who operates a progressive Web site at www.allspinzone.com. Richard stated that "missing-persons stories happen every day but which become noteworthy? Alot of it has to do with skin color and economics". He felt that getting the word out is what is most important. Police had briefed reporters but little coverage ensued. Richard decided to e-mail Nancy Grace, host of a nightly show on CNN Headline News. Grace's show has given constant coverage to the case of Natalee Holloway, the Alabama teenager missing in Aruba. He also contacted a number of Web sites and several of them posted his message. When the e-mail Richard sent to Grace got noticed by a CNN producer the results were immediate. Early on July 27th CNN posted a story about Figueroa on its Web site, quoting Richard Blair, among others. Cable news outlets across the country joined in carrying the story.
A tip of the hat to bloggers everywhere! You can make things happen with the written word...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

heres a real fact


"All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you."

George W Bush

Living in the past

Fact is your side cant find a winner.

Great Odin's Raven!

I never realized how appropriate Will Ferrell's quote of "Great Odin's Raven!" in Archorman is. Check this out...

Norse Mythology. This image (left) shows Odin with his two ravens, Memory and Thought. Notice that Odin is depicted as having only one eye. Norse mythology held that Oden sacrificed one eye for wisdom.
The Aesir family of Gods were the chief gods of Norse Mythology. Odin, king of the gods had two black ravens, Huginn (Thought) and Muninn (Memory), who flew forth daily to gather tidings of events all over the world. In Norse mythology, Munin was a raven of memory which sat on Odin's shoulder and along with Hunin brought Odin news each day of what was occuring in the world. We can wonder why memory and thought are depicted as ravens. One possibility is that ravens are very vocal and can sometimes mimic human speech.

Myth vs. Fact

Rather than refer to a map that an infant could tell intentionally oversimplifies the breakdown of votes in the past election and misleads readers by employing a "winner take all" approach to the color coding, I encourage you to read the following encyclopedia entry regarding the topic...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_state_vs._blue_state_divide

That map, adored by Republicans as a justification of their cause, gives a voting district a red color, even if the vote is only 51% to 49% in favor of their candidate. It casually and conveniently dismisses the 49% of the citizenry that voted against the Republican candidate. Seem fair and accurate to you? I didn't think so.

Let us not forget that the American popular vote ended up 62 million to 59 million in favor of Bush, which breaks down to 50% to 48%.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._presidential_election,_2004

The facts state that Bush received votes from only half of the American population, so that should shed a little light on the silly little map posted below.

And you think your job is tough!


majority rules


Your punk attitude about our fighting soldiers represents a small minority of people in this country, perhaps this would be a good opportunity for you, ted, john, ect.. to just lay down and take it. I say we take the fight to the enemy, fight to the last man and never surrender!!

"If the leaders of the other parties have no fresh idea's, they should step aside and let others lead."

I read the news today, oh boy..........

Another 14 dead. That makes 39 in the last 10 days, just in case anyone gives a shit anymore.............

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Maine Lobstah - wicked good!

First off, you'll need beer. Lots of it. It's not for the lobster, by the way, it's for you. Beer and lobster killing just seem to go together.
Bring a large pot of water to a rolling boil, add salt and lemon juice.
Place the live lobsters in the boiling water head first to kill them quickly. (if you try to boil a lobster butt first, he will in most cases crawl right back out of the pot....
Have you ever done the 'tongs chase' around the kitchen with an angry red-assed lobster ? If you followed step 1 correctly, it can even be a popular spectator sport!
Bring the water to boiling again, and then turn the heat down to medium.
Cover, and cook 5 minutes for the 1st pound, and 1 minute for each additional.
To avoid overcooking, as soon as time is up, take the lobsters out of the pot immediately, and place on paper towels or grocery bag to drain.
Twist off each claw, but don't toss the claw-joints. ..There's good meat in there.
Twist the tails from the body (have you ever wondered who was the first guy to look at a lobster and decide this little guy's back end might be tasty?)
Melt some butter for dipping, and chow down.
To Broil your lobster:
Preheat the broiler.
Live lobsters don't broil well, so murder that puppy by stabbing it through the "T" mark on the head, right behind the eyes.
Using a very sharp knife, cut through the center of the shell, being careful not to get your hands in the way for when the knife slips (and it will - again especially if you got steps one and two right).
Crack the back shell and pry the sucker open by hand. Crack the claws, but don't remove for cooking.
Tips:
When you boil lobsters, they scream. (wouldn't you?) Even if they're dead, they scream. Don't let this get to you, it's really just trapped air escaping small fissures in the shell.
Lobsters overcook very quickly. Take care not to do so. These babies are too expensive to mess up.

Loud Noises!

Indeed, Howard Jones put on a show - not entirely sure if it was a good one or not, but he tried his damnedest. I especially loved it when he was really rockin' out and tilted his synthesizer sideways, with the same intensity that Slash has jamming out on his guitar. Ho Jo is cool!

I am loving my new home! And although Tommy and Shelly have had quite an adjustment period, I know they are happier. It is quite a sight to see two 60+ lb. dogs get b!*%# slapped by two 10 lb., declawed cats. Tommy, who I believe is left-pawed, packs a mean punch. And does he get snitty... whew!

I especially love when all four animals try to sleep on the bed with us. Usually the order is: Tommy, me, Shelly, Jason, AJ, and when Elvis is feeling brave, he tries to sneak into the mix. Welcome to Wild Kingdom.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Much better!


Islamic fundamentalism

“I don't think you can overstate the importance that the rise of Islamic fundamentalism will have to the rest of the world in the century ahead-especially if, as seems possible, its most fanatical elements get their hands on nuclear and chemical weapons and the means to deliver them against their enemies.” - Ronald Reagan

"I have never used steroids. Period."



Jackass.

Subsisto Sermo Statim



I am so getting this shirt!

So how was everyone's weekend? Jenny and I had a great one. On Friday night, we went to a wedding and saw some friends get married. It was our first such event together, and it went very well. On Saturday we moved her out of her apartment downtown and got all of her stuff officially into my place in Littleton. It's a little cramped for the 6 of us (she has 2 cats and I have the 2 boys), but it feels much more like home now. The zoo has been keeping things interesting and entertaining to say the least, but I think they are starting to understand that they are going to have to coexist.

Saturday night we went to the stupidest concert of all time (we got free tickets from friends) and saw Howard Jones. Yes that is the same Howard Jones who had a couple hits in the 80's and hasn't been heard from since! Funny thing is, he was the headline act of one of our local radio stations' annual summer concert, which should tell you just how lame that station is! Anyway, it was a good excuse to go out and party with friends and we made the most of it.

Sunday, we got the apartment situated, did a little shopping and watched Anchorman. Damn, that's a funny movie! Anyway, hope all is well with everyone out there. Keep the posts coming!

Later.

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